As I type this, I am sat in an almost-empty Waylands Yard in Birmingham City Centre and I am one of those laptop wankers. I’m in a trendy coffee shop, wearing my trendy glasses, drinking tea from a trendy teapot, eating a salted caramel pretzel brownie.
Proper laptop wanker, but I am using this time to catch up on life and with new friends.
So the last couple of weeks have been HORRIBLE and I mean horrible. I took myself to A&E twice because my mental health was so bad that I wasn’t sure that I could keep myself safe.
After the second admission, they recommended that I spend the night in Psychiatric Decision Unit (PDU for short) at the local mental health hospital. My god, it was grim.
It was only me and another patient who was admitted that night, but I knew as soon as I sat in those burgundy reclining chairs that I wanted to go home. The tv was locked in a glass case, there was nothing to do and it felt like I was truly in a place for the mentally ill.
I discharged myself almost immediately and went home.
The next day, the Mental Health Home Treatment Team (or Home Team, as they call themselves) came to visit and put a bit of a plan in place for me: at least 2 visits a week from the Home Team, plus a visit from the psychiatrist once a week, and a referral to a Creative Hub that helps with mental health.
Hey, at least there’s a bit of a plan!
Yep, you read that correctly.
It was my birthday. In the midst of all of this mental drama, I had to celebrate getting a year older. I had to plaster on a smile, play host to a few family and friends, and marvel in the realisation that I had reached 28 years old.
If you had told 16-year-old me that I’d be sitting in a trendy cafe when I was 28, I would’ve laughed at you. Well, I actually would’ve rolled my eyes, turned away and called you a liar. I never imagined that I would live this long, so never made plans. That’s why I’ve been living moment to moment for the past 12 years.
That’s also why I don’t have any savings, but that’s for another time!
Bullet Journal Masterclass
Near the end of January, I ran my very first bullet journal masterclass. Yep, little old me, in the middle of a mental health crisis, put on her comfiest hoodie, rounded up her amazing pals, and led a bullet journal masterclass in Cherry Reds.
There were around 25 people total, all around little tables with their dotted notebooks and pens in front of them, all looking to me to help them understand what on earth they were meant to do.
It was actually super fun!
I bought a yellow Leuchtturm specifically for the event (it was a Bumble event, Bumble’s brand is yellow, obvs!) and started drawing out all sorts of spreads and trackers.
Having the freedom to just draw instead of having to make it functional was liberating – and you can tell! It jumps from weekly spread to monthly calendar, to books trackers and back again. I even snipped out some pages and attempted some Dutch doors.
I don’t think I’ve been that proud of my work for a really long time.
I got some amazing feedback from everyone, people saying that I should do classes for kids, and classes for mental health. It really got me thinking…
Starting A Business…?
After the bujo masterclass, Amelia mentioned that I should start selling bujo boxes – the perfect starter kit for anyone wanting to get into bullet journaling.
It’s an easy business to start. All I need is to buy the stock, buy some boxes and promote the business.
So what’s holding me back?
The fear of failure. The fear that it’ll explode so quickly that I can’t keep up. The fear that I’ll have so many notebooks and pens in my house that I’ll become a hoarder. Or the fear it’ll actually work and I can be that person who has made a successful business out of their hobby.
What do you reckon? A new business in the pipeline?